The Big Island Packs Heat

Not only am I packing within 26 hours of leaving, I'm also blogging.  

18 days in Hawaii and what to pack!?  Everything is going in my backpack and can't be in full extension mode to fit in the overhead.

For starters a tent (thank you christine)
A yoga mat ( I will be sleeping on it and using it for yoga!)
Sleeping sack, very small silk and costs a days pay!

Yoga clothes for the week long yoga retreat here http://www.kalani.com/ 
Hiking clothes for the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park http://www.nps.gov/havo/index.htm
and some beach and around town clothes.  I hear nothing fancy is needed in Hawaii so that's a plus.

I'm still debating on my water shoes. My snorkel gear was destroyed somehow in the travels of the Grand Caymans, which is good since I wont have room for it.

I have packed 18 pairs of underwear with the intention of finally throwing out the ones I hate when I'm done.  Plus I hate washing undies on the road.

I'm about finish loading.  Weighing and then unloading, removing, loading and weighing again.  All while finishing up my chores around the house so my roommate doesn't kill me. 

UPDATE:  10:25pm.  22lbs backpack this includes 10 larabars, 10 vitamin c powder packs, doesn't include purse, book, liquids, camera, headlamp, batteries and a few other small items.  Not too shabby considering the tent and yoga mat.  I still have more items then I'll probably wear but...
In fact the more I think about it the more I want to start over again!   :)

The Big Island

what my living room looked like yesterday

I'm escaping again.  I have a lot of expectations on one hand, and none on the other.  There are few unplanned days left open for the interesting and strange things that seems to gravitate toward me. It's a
short trip for me, only 18 days.

Off to the big island of Hawaii.  Flying into Kona, camping, exploring and then a week long yoga retreat on the Hilo side. 

I'm actually 2 weeks behind on my packing and repacking.  I'm hopeful that I've learned a bit about tropical weather living and packing thanks to Costa Rica.  But I'm feeling the crunch of time!

Better get to it!   Selecting a tent and yoga mat that fits in my back back along with my other necessities has been a slight challenge. Sleeping on the yoga mat with my sarong as a blanket may also be a challenge! haha


 

There are Memories, and there are MEMORIES.

This blog is full of MEMORIES.  Hilarious, crazyass, laugh inducing and crying fit leading memories. 
And just in rereading a couple of these I am happy to have lived that crazyass time.  I may suffer some consequences but no one can accuse me of not living.  At least then.  :) 

Live it up people, we only have one chance to do it.  At least that we are aware of when it's happening!

Now, where's that rum bottle.  haha Just kidding!  ;)

A quickie

At this point, I'm pretty certain the only person reading these blogs is my grandma, which is fine.  Maybe my mom as she has to print them for my gram! :)

Anyway, a couple weeks back, I broke off communication with Coco.  There were multiple reasons. But it was still difficult and I still think of him many times throughout my day.  It was great to hear all the things I wanted to hear, and to see that he is doing ok.  Or at least ok for him.  I'm still day dreaming about Costa Rica, the animals, the heat, the ocean and my friends. 

I guess I don't have much more to say about it.

Can You Spare Any Change?

I can. But not the silver jingly kind.  Change.  Change is the only constant, They say.  Someday I want to meet They. I wonder if They will be a man or a woman? Maybe They is a man and a woman, or a panel of people.

I know things change.  Sometimes change takes longer than I'd wish.  Sometimes change happens at a time I don't appreciate.  Sometimes the changes I think I want are not really whats best for me.  Sometimes change happens in a blink of an eye, sometimes you only think something has changed.  Or maybe you have changed and didn't notice.

Something has changed, a shift in thought, a shift of my heart, a shift in my head.  I'm not sure exactly.  I wonder if this change is good or bad.  I'm not even sure what the change is but I know it's there.  And I'm not sure what to do with this. 

6 months ago I would have jumped right back on a plane to Costa Rica at the drop of a hat.  4 months ago I would have done the same thing.  Probably, truth be told, I would have done it a month ago.  But now I don't think I can.  As I type that I feel very uncomfortable.  It's as if I'm turning my back on something, someone.  But I don't know if that is the case. It's just complicated in my head.  75% of me wants to, no questions asked.  But then what?

It's funny to hear everything you've ever wanted to hear out of someones mouth, and have it send red flags.  or it could be as Coco said, I'm scared to go back to Costa Rica.  Scared of love? Probably.  Amongst the crazy.

So I'm still trying to focus on art, the next step is deciding how to go forward with this house and my future employment options.  Giving myself distance from Coco, giving him distance from me.

The Always Enteraining Unvierse

Just when you think the Universe is crazy, you find out she's actually Hellarious.  Hell. ar. ious.
Two weeks ago I received an email from Coco asking me how I was, wishing me a merry christmas and telling me he's not on the farm and he's now single. Last Wednesday I called him. It was as if no time had passed, we joked and had a great conversation.  He didn't want to talk about what had happened between him and baby's mama so I let it drop.  He also apologized to me, which was a little surprising but I was glad for it.  It was really good to hear his voice, but left me with a million mixed feelings. I still have the mixed feelings.  We've talked a few times and he's asked me to return to him.  Promising me his heart amongst another organ. haha Hey, I could have said another red throbbing thing. hahaha Man, I crack myself up.

Anyway, this raises many thoughts and many hours of therapy lie in question.  Also, the cold is getting to me.  I can't stand it.  It makes me sooooo crabby.  Heated yoga helps, today as I was in corpse pose literally right next to the heater with my eyes closed, I imagined being on the beach with a hot breeze blowing on me.  It's summer in Costa Rica, hardly any rain.  I've never experienced full-on summer there.  December and January are the months with the least amount of rain.  It's taking all my will power not to book a flight for tomorrow.  or the next day.  But the kitties, and other obligations are preventing it.  Funny thing is I just looked at flights.  I could go for three weeks before Roomie runs off to Vietnam. Looks like $700ish. But damn, then I'd spend more money getting to southern Costa Rica and food, and probably beer.  Sounds expensive.  Sounds crazy.  But double damn that's what I want to do.

The other thing stopping me from doing this is my boyfriend, Painting.  I promised a 6 month commitment.  that expires the end of February.  And you can't just keep dropping Painting and expect he'll always take you back. 

So I'll take this opportunity to spend some quality time with Painting tonight. 

Strange Days Indeed

I'd like to be able to say "Nobody told me there'd be days like these"  but I'm pretty sure they have.  This last week has been interesting to say the least. I've realized that I am in no way shape or form in a place in my life to meet new people or make new friends.  I met someone who was interesting to talk to at a Spanish meeting up thinger.  He was from Peru.  He was interested in my art so I gave him a card.  He emailed me, and although his emails could have been considered flirty I tried to think of it as someone to practice Spanish/English with and maybe a new friend.  Nothing wrong with that.  Well, nothing until I started feeling very uncomfortable with the amount of compliments and the personal questions.  Now, I know asking someone get to know you questions is normal. VERY normal.  But I don't really enjoy talking that much and to have someone I don't know inquire about personal things just felt like too much.  It's bad enough talking about things with people I love and people that know my back story.  I just don't have the mental energy for new friends I guess.  So I had to be a dick and very clearly state that I was not looking for anything other than a casual friend to speak Spanish with.  That didn't go as well as I'd liked.  He took it as personal rejection, which pushed me even further away.  and then I felt bad and tried to explain but that only made things worse.

In other news.  I'm not sure I mentioned this.  Coco is back with baby's mama and the second baby was born Oct. 5th.  Nicolas a boy.  Baby mama finally saw some photos I posted on facebook in March and apparently freaked out.  Commented on them, rude comments toward Coco.  Coco re-blocking me on facebook, blah blah blah. Drama. Drama. Drama.  I'm so thankful they are in another country.  I'm also thankful the universe took this problem out of my hands, now if I could just remove it from my heart.

Job interview.  200 other applicants.  Strange party.  Roommate leaving.  Sick cat. Crying breakdown during yoga.  And these are just the highlights. 

Ah, what a strange and wonderful life to lead.  As I mentioned earlier, life is sort of exciting when you start to see these crazy things as part of a wonderfully illustrated and written story.  Sure beats sitting in a cubical all day.